Low-Pressure Peeps


We all know that Peeps are light, fluffy, and filled with air. This of course begs the question, "What happens to Peeps in a vacuum?" (Surely you were about to ask the same thing, right?)

Stage 1:

To the left is a peep in a side-arm flask, attached to a vacuum hose. The vacuum has not yet been applied...


Stage 2:

Vacuum is applied to the container. The Peep begins to expand...


Stage 3:

The Peep reaches its maximum volume. The mighty elastic Peep! Alas, it has stretched to its limit, and begins to lose air...


Stage 4:

The vacuum is turned off. It seems that the Peep has, in fact, lost a bit of air. Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation failed to bring back this poor Peep, but it was still yummy.




There are several important implications indicated by these results:

  1. Peeps are poorly equipped as fighter pilots, supporting the Supreme Court ruling that banning peeps from the cockpits of F-16 planes in combat does not violate the Anti-Discrimination Act of 1992. (Orville & Wilbur Peep vs. US Government, 1994)
  2. Peeps should exercise caution when ascending after deep-sea diving excursions, as sudden decreases in pressure may exceed the structural integrity of visceral parenchyma.
  3. This may explain the tragic demise of the Col. Lewis Peep expedition which attempted to reach the peak of Mt. Everest in the spring of 1856. It is important to note that these data do not exclude alternative theories suggesting that the group was devoured by a pack of diabetic mountain lions. (Schroedinger, Heisenberg, & Bohr, 1922).


Future Studies:

We would like to work with NASA on future space shuttle missions to investigate the atmospheric limitations on Peep development, behavior, and structural integrity as pilot studies to assess the feasibility of existing Peep colonies on Europa and Io (see related studies on heat).

As a side note, this explains the lack of evidence that Peeps are currently living on Mars, Mercury, the moon, and other bodies in our solar system which lack an atmosphere.


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